Put an End to Solo Pity Parties and Blaming Others

Things that are happening in your life may not be your fault but they ARE your responsibility.  This is a hard pill to swallow sometimes and a lot of people want to run the other way or do something, anything, else to distract themselves from taking on this responsibility and dealing with it head on.  But none of these decisions will resolve the issues or change the things that are happening to you.  It is your responsibility to face these things head on and take 100% full responsibility so you are able to take ownership over the outcomes. 

In a world where people are quick blame others or have pity on themselves for negative things happening in their lives taking responsibility is often the least favorable choice.   But think about it, if you blame someone else or have a pity party that only you are attending how is this going to make you feel.  Worse!  When we blame someone else or throw a solo pity party we feel worse because it actually supports our notion that it is out of our control and we can do nothing about these negative things that are happening in our lives.  On the contrary, if we take full responsibility for these negative things we have full control over the outcomes.  This feels much more empowering and gives us forward momentum to make change. 

I know what you are thinking, but Ashley it was not my fault, why do I have to take responsibility?!?!  Hear me out.  Lets use the example of your mediocre job.  You hate it, you dread going everyday, and have to will yourself out of bed each morning.  When you do make it in to the office, late as usual, you spend most of your day counting down the time until you get to leave and day dreaming about all your fantasy job and your next vacation.  When asked about work you make comments like, “My boss still sucks”, “My coworkers can’t even do their jobs right”, “I am constantly amazed at how upper management treats us so poorly when we bring in all the money to keep this company a float”.  Blah Blah Blah!!  The work environment as a whole is not your fault but it is your responsibility to make changes.  You can make changes in your outlook, you level of production, and your engagement at the office.  You can also look for a new job or go back to school.  But be warned that the grass is not always greener on the other side, it is greener where you water it.  So taking the time and exerting the energy to water the grass at your current job might be the best way to improve your situation.  Regardless of what choices you make it is your responsibility to make these choices and take action.

I know that this problem may not fit for all of you but there are steps to every problem, sometimes you just need to look deep, get creative, and accept that you might have to do things that you don’t want to do to resolve the problem.  I challenge you to look at your life right now and identify something that you have been choosing to ignore or put on the back burner and choose right now to take 100% responsibility for it.  What action can you take right now to start working on the issue or moving toward your desired outcome? 

Love, Ashley

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